Gentleman’s Essential #11: Cutting it Close

After a failed attempt at writing a piece about shaving, we’re going to revisit the subject.  No fancy stats about what women actually want, but we’ll start with a story from my favorite period in antiquity – Ancient Rome.  Shaving became so important in Roman culture that when young men went to the barber for the first time, it was a celebration and their hairs were offered to the gods.  After famously rising from the ranks and driving his nemesis to Egypt, Julius Caesar attained the throne of the Roman Empire.  This great leader and conqueror opted for the clean-shaven look – and he demanded that of his soldiers.  Unfortunately, Caesar achieved this by having the hairs individually plucked; even worse, his soldiers in the field “shaved” by rubbing their hair out with a pumice stone.  It kind of puts drudgery of the daily or bi-weekly shave in a new perspective.  Let’s look at how to do this ancient gentlemen’s ritual properly.

1.   Prepare your face with warm water.  The hair on your face will soften up and stand up for a closer shave if you begin by washing your face.  I prefer to shave in the shower, which can easily be done with a fog proof mirror installed, but if you opt not to, you can begin with a warm washcloth. 

2.  Next, apply the shave gel in small circles, again to prepare your facial hair.  I prefer shave gel versus foam because it helps the razor glide across the skin easier.  I generally use Gillette Extra Comfort Shave Gel, but Lab Series for Men makes a really amazing shave cream.  

3.  Use a newer razor blade.  As you all probably know, I shave more hair than most so I go through blades often.  Even if you’re just going for your face, you ought to be changing your blade every other week or so.  You should definitely change the blade before shaving for an important event.  I’m a Gillette Mach 3 guy, but you should go with whatever works best for your face.

4.  If you have the time, shave first going with the “grain” of your hair.  Then reapply shave gel and shave again against the grain.  This will give you a much closer shave and help reduce the likelihood of ingrown hairs.

5.  After the shave wash your face again with a face wash.  This will take away any remaining shave gel, shaved hairs, and clean your face for the day.  Neutrogena Men Invigorating Face Wash will do the job well.

6.  Always, always, always apply moisturizer to your face.  If you don’t after about 30 minutes you’ll feel like your skin is going to fall off.  The reason for this is because the act of shaving and washing depletes your face of its natural moisturizers.  I also find that as I apply the moisturizer I can feel if I missed a spot during the shave.  If you do, simply apply a little more moisturizer to the area and re-shave that spot.  Few things are more embarrassing than realizing midway through the day that you missed a spot.  I prefer Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion. 

So next time you put metal to face, know that you are taking part in a tradition that is thousands of years old.  After all, this is your face – it’s kind of important.

Gentleman’s Essential #10: Healing Hands

Massages are one of those things that really connect us as humans.  Not only is it a healing technique to promote blood flow and reduce toxins, but it also gives us that physical interaction that we need as social creatures.  That’s why it’s important to become comfortable and confident giving massages.  This is probably going to be one of your favorite gentlemen’s essentials for you to master, because in order to become proficient in the art of massage you need to give and receive massages as much as possible!

I’ve only received a few professional massages, but each time I do I try to be aware of the techniques employed so I can use them later on.  For everyday massages the common Swedish massage is used.  This is the standard massage that uses pressure and friction to encourage blood flow and relax the muscles.  Although, in my massage at the Chrysalis in Bellingham, the masseuse used the Trager technique to “release my body’s holding patterns.”  This unexpected technique helped relax me and break up my tension.

For me, I’ve found that being mindful of the body’s anatomy has been useful in giving good massages.  Luckily, I’ve had a year of Anatomy and Physiology to help me with that, but a simple study of the human musculature will do the trick (see picture).  As you apply pressure to the muscles in the back and neck, I move in the direction of the muscles, moving the tension out.  Much of this is tension is in the Trapezius, Levator Scapulae, and Infraspinatus.  This is because throughout the day, we are constantly using those muscles to keep our head up as we work and they aid in arm movement.  Additionally, muscles that run along bones like the scapula tend to get pretty sore.  Using deep pressure from your thumb along the Supraspinatus will do wonders for a stressed out friend or loved one.  Through all of this, communication is the key.  Whereas one person might need relatively tough pressure, someone else might be very sensitive and appreciate a lighter touch.

So if you want more massages, you’ll have to give more.  As my buddy Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Gentleman’s Essential #9: The Utility Players

In Major League Baseball, what do Cesar Tovar, Cookie Rojas, Bert Campaneris, Shane Halter, and Jose Oquendo have in common?  They have all played every position in baseball in their careers.  Pretty amazing!  These athletes completely embody the moniker “utility player.”  As guys, we generally like our lives simple and our clothing options should only stay true to that mission.  Most of us have a few pairs of shoes, a small assortment of shirts, a couple of belts – black and brown.  The essential elements.  Do we really need a walk-in closet packed to capacity with a myriad of coats and shirts for every conceivable event? 

In this vein, we will take a look at three “utility players” that every guy should have at their disposal.  First up is the black pea coat.  The pea coat was designed originally for sailors as early as the 1720s and the name originates from the Dutch word “pijjekker” which refers to a kind of heavy cloth.  In the centuries since its introduction, the style has changed very little.  The great thing about a pea coat, is it’s the type of jacket you can throw on over a t-shirt and jeans as you head out into the cold, or you can feel comfortable putting it on over dress clothes.  It fits any environment. 

Today’s look is trending to slimmer fits and mixing dress shirts with jeans.  Anything that lets us wear jeans more can’t be all bad.  Wearing a dress shirt with jeans is cool, but if you were to put on a regular-width tie it would throw off the look.  Currently thinner ties are back in style and this option is a great way to look good whether you pair it with a suit or your shirt and jeans.  It really works with either option.  When picking a skinny tie, it’s best to opt for a black one first as it’s the most versatile. 

The final essential out of our utility players is the lightweight, V-neck sweater.  The reason this falls into the “utility” group is because, like the others, it fits well as a something you’d wear with nicer clothes, or feel free to push up the sleeves and pair it with your favorite jeans.  A casual look that’s in style right now is to wear a button up shirt underneath and roll up the sleeves.  (see picture below) It’s a great way to create a layered look.

It’s good to find your own unique look that you can feel comfortable in, but any guy will agree that you really need those simple, go-to items like a coat, a tie, and a sweater.  Keep these within reach and you’ll be good for a job interview or heading out with a group of buddies.

Gentleman’s Essential #8: Smooth Operator

For a man to try to explain what women want (especially one as clueless as I am) would be as pointless and irrelevant as a pair of rubber crutches.  I went into this installment with the idea that I’d lay down some dazzling stats about how women like a man who’s squeaky clean with a freshly shaved face.  After pouring over various articles on the subject, what I’m actually finding is that the later is what women will tell people they want, but when they actually confide privately, they confess that they want someone who’s a little disheveled and unshaven. 

The Mail’s article cited a survey conducted in 2010 by onepoll.com, which listed women’s preferences (in this order).  To the 2,500 women in the poll, their ideal man would be unshaven, kind of nerdy, hairy-chested, and emotional.  For the cherry on top, it doesn’t hurt if he has glasses, passionate about a sports team, and a little “soft”.  So guys, your new alpha-male to base all of your life after is….  

Zach Galifianakis!  (See pic)

In all reality, apparently what the women in the poll were indicating was that they want a man who is “real.”  Someone who is who he is, and doesn’t focus too much on his appearances.  They want someone who isn’t afraid to be kind of a geek and show his emotions, because that shows a certain level of fun and confidence.  This guy would have a winning personality and have some attractive features, but not focus on checking himself out in the mirror.  

Now that I’ve let this installment write itself.  I’m going to rein it in next time and try again at the Smooth Operator piece.  If you know me, I’m one to opt for a shave.  So I’ll delve into the best practices in the art of shaving.

Until then… be kind, be thoughtful, be sophisticated.  Be a gentleman.

Gentleman’s Essential #7: Motoring

If you were giving your last thoughts to your child, what would you say?  It’s probably tough to know until you’re in the moment.  In the FX television series Nip/Tuck, Christian Troy (played by Julian McMahon) had to do just that when the biological father was taking his adopted son away.  In that moment, Christian gave some sage advice.  Among those parting thoughts he counseled, “No American cars.  German, Italian, or the occasional English.”   When I heard that, I literally said out loud to myself, “Great show.”

How true it is gentlemen – German, Italian, and the occasional English.  It can easily be argued that other car manufacturers make good cars, and that is certainly true.  But if you goal is to experience something truly inspirational and drive a vehicle that is crafted and not mass produced, you need to look to our European brothers for your dream car.  Some great practitioners of this craft are Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Pagani, Audi, BMW, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz, Aston Martin, Bentley, Jaguar, and Land Rover.

We come to a dilemma.  Why do you want to drive a European super car?  Is it for the attention?  Are you going to collect it to show it off to your friends?  Your reasons should be for the pure experience;  to be slammed against the back of your seat as your car accelerates faster than you thought possible or takes corners that defy the laws of physics.  That is what makes it a gentleman’s ride; the refinement, the style, the passion, the experience. 

As an example of a good goal is this year’s Robb Report car of the year – the Ferrari 458 Italia (see below).  This amazing sports car is powered by a 4.5L V8 engine that’ll get you to 60 in 3.4 seconds (about as long as it took you to read that sentence).  

I hope this gave you all something to think about, gentlemen.  Set your sights high because life, after all, is all about having great experiences.

Time for a Laugh: Handsome Mens Club

No matter your responsibilities, be it work, school, or family - it's good to have a laugh every once in a while.  The Guy'dbook is taking a break from its regular regiment of tips and philosophy of all things guy-ish with today's installment.  Today we'll watch a fun video from one of our favorite comedians and founder of a great organization, Mr. Jimmy Kimmel.

I hope you all enjoy the video and share it with your friends, loved ones, and random strangers.  And yes, I went out an bought the tie after seeing this.  Enjoy!

Hope you all had fun watching this cool video!  A big part of being a gentleman is not taking yourself too seriously and being able to poke fun at yourself.  Hats off to the guys in this bit for doing just that.  Although, who knows - maybe Sting really does get lost in his own eyes!  

Have a great week everyone, and don't forget to hold your head handsome.  

Gentleman’s Essential #6 – Smell Delicious

We humans are a social bunch.  We average only about 72 people per square mile of land on the Earth, and yet we jam ourselves into cities, neighborhoods, and social groups whenever possible.  There are certain rules we follow to make this co-habitation more pleasant and equitable for all people involved, but one simple, unspoken (and sometimes, not followed) custom ought to be addressed.  Control and master your scent.  Is it really that complex and difficult?  If not, why is it such a great mystery that baffles the mind of many aspiring gentlemen?

First off – showering.  It’s important to shower at least every day.  If you disagree with me, stop reading this and turn to the woman next to you and ask her.  Okay?  Are we all on the same page?  The average adult sweats 1.67 cups of sweat per night.  1.67 cups!  While we rest, bacteria are busy living and dying in the warm, wet environment we create for them.  That’s why after you sweat you start to smell.  So, when you get up in the morning, drink a big glass of water (the previous post), then hit the shower.  Make sure to take a nice warm shower with plenty of soap to wash away your funky, nighttime odor.  Here’s a little tip – when you’re about to get out of the shower, turn the water to a cooler temperature.  It will wake you up a bit, cool off your skin, and close your sweat glands so you don’t perspire after your shower.  Dry yourself off, take care of your skin with some lotion, and don’t forget the deodorant.  Believe me, if you forget – it will be a long, long day.

Second – making sense of scents.  We have been augmenting our scent with cologne/perfume for over three thousand years.  The alone creates the clear case that we like to smell good and others would like to keep it that way.  Now that you’ve showered, lotioned, and deodorized – it’s time to put on some cologne.  Each of us has a unique body chemistry which means one person’s cologne will smell different on the next guy.  That’s why it’s important to take your time when you pick out cologne and not just buy the brand with the coolest bottle, or the one is giving away the free bag/gadget with purchase.  When you go to you local Nordstrom or Macy's take your time  when you check out the various colognes.  Spray them on the supplied cards to separate the quality candidates from the paint thinner.  When you’ve found one that you think you’d like to go with, spray your arm and go for a walk.  It takes a few minutes for the alcohol in the cologne to evaporate leaving what will be your scent.  After you’ve given it about twenty minutes, take a whiff.  If you like what you smell, you’re in luck!  Plunk down your cash and enjoy being enjoyed.

Now that you have your cologne, don’t go crazy.  Moderation in all things, brothers.  Our body has certain “hot points” that we should spray our cologne.  On our wrists, our neck, and chest.  Think of this rule: wherever you can feel your pulse - you can spray.  But limit it to two to four sprays of cologne per day.  Don’t skip your shower only to douse yourself in cologne.  I’ve heard repeatedly from women, that they can easily smell past it.  Plus, consider this – if you subtly smell good, people will want to get close to you to enjoy how you smell.

Go to it, gentlemen.  The process is great; get clean and smell good.  Finding your signature scent is a great journey. 

For me, I find that Acqua di Gio is a good classic, and 212 by Carolina Herrera (pictured) is my favorite.  Guys, what do you wear?  Women, are there particular colognes you would like to suggest for guys?