Gentleman’s Essential #12: Gym Etiquette

There are two things I like to do, go to the gym and listen to my friends’ opinions.  Naturally when my friends give opinions about their experiences at the gym, my ears perk up.  In this Essential we’ll cover three things that people have talked to me about when they grimace and discuss “that guy” at the gym.

Change your clothes.  When you go to the gym regularly, you start to see the same cast of characters.  Everyone generally keeps to themselves, but you recognize them.  What you don’t want to be recognized as is as the guy who wears the same shirt every day (guy at left is a recreation of "that guy").  That alone is a bad thing.  The other drawback to donning the same shirt to each workout is it’s going to start to stink.  Bad.  Easy fix though, go do some volunteer work or run a race – you’ll get a free shirt and instantly double your wardrobe! 

You’re not alone.  It’s easy to ‘be in the zone’ when you’re working out.  The weights are on, your pushing your limits, and you let out a growl like you’re morphing into a werewolf.  Not exactly okay.  While studies show that yelling does help push you harder, try to keep it under a reasonable decibel level.  Remember to use your inside voices!  Violators of the grunting and yelling, is guy who is constantly checking himself out in the mirror.  The human body is pretty cool, but staring at your arm as you do curls isn’t going to “will” it into getting bigger.  

Don’t stare (see P-Diddy right).  I’ll keep this simple, because it is.  I’ve been told by more than one of my female friends that they hate it when guys ogle them while they workout.  You know they guy.  As the girl goes from one place to another, his head swivels on his neck like the possessed girl from Poltergeist.  Don’t do that.  Glance, acknowledge, smile, get back to what you were doing. 

The gym’s a great place.  It feels good to workout and get fit.  Do what you can to make a good impression on others and be “that guy” that people say with a smile.  

Gentleman’s Essential #11: Cutting it Close

After a failed attempt at writing a piece about shaving, we’re going to revisit the subject.  No fancy stats about what women actually want, but we’ll start with a story from my favorite period in antiquity – Ancient Rome.  Shaving became so important in Roman culture that when young men went to the barber for the first time, it was a celebration and their hairs were offered to the gods.  After famously rising from the ranks and driving his nemesis to Egypt, Julius Caesar attained the throne of the Roman Empire.  This great leader and conqueror opted for the clean-shaven look – and he demanded that of his soldiers.  Unfortunately, Caesar achieved this by having the hairs individually plucked; even worse, his soldiers in the field “shaved” by rubbing their hair out with a pumice stone.  It kind of puts drudgery of the daily or bi-weekly shave in a new perspective.  Let’s look at how to do this ancient gentlemen’s ritual properly.

1.   Prepare your face with warm water.  The hair on your face will soften up and stand up for a closer shave if you begin by washing your face.  I prefer to shave in the shower, which can easily be done with a fog proof mirror installed, but if you opt not to, you can begin with a warm washcloth. 

2.  Next, apply the shave gel in small circles, again to prepare your facial hair.  I prefer shave gel versus foam because it helps the razor glide across the skin easier.  I generally use Gillette Extra Comfort Shave Gel, but Lab Series for Men makes a really amazing shave cream.  

3.  Use a newer razor blade.  As you all probably know, I shave more hair than most so I go through blades often.  Even if you’re just going for your face, you ought to be changing your blade every other week or so.  You should definitely change the blade before shaving for an important event.  I’m a Gillette Mach 3 guy, but you should go with whatever works best for your face.

4.  If you have the time, shave first going with the “grain” of your hair.  Then reapply shave gel and shave again against the grain.  This will give you a much closer shave and help reduce the likelihood of ingrown hairs.

5.  After the shave wash your face again with a face wash.  This will take away any remaining shave gel, shaved hairs, and clean your face for the day.  Neutrogena Men Invigorating Face Wash will do the job well.

6.  Always, always, always apply moisturizer to your face.  If you don’t after about 30 minutes you’ll feel like your skin is going to fall off.  The reason for this is because the act of shaving and washing depletes your face of its natural moisturizers.  I also find that as I apply the moisturizer I can feel if I missed a spot during the shave.  If you do, simply apply a little more moisturizer to the area and re-shave that spot.  Few things are more embarrassing than realizing midway through the day that you missed a spot.  I prefer Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion. 

So next time you put metal to face, know that you are taking part in a tradition that is thousands of years old.  After all, this is your face – it’s kind of important.

Gentleman’s Essential #10: Healing Hands

Massages are one of those things that really connect us as humans.  Not only is it a healing technique to promote blood flow and reduce toxins, but it also gives us that physical interaction that we need as social creatures.  That’s why it’s important to become comfortable and confident giving massages.  This is probably going to be one of your favorite gentlemen’s essentials for you to master, because in order to become proficient in the art of massage you need to give and receive massages as much as possible!

I’ve only received a few professional massages, but each time I do I try to be aware of the techniques employed so I can use them later on.  For everyday massages the common Swedish massage is used.  This is the standard massage that uses pressure and friction to encourage blood flow and relax the muscles.  Although, in my massage at the Chrysalis in Bellingham, the masseuse used the Trager technique to “release my body’s holding patterns.”  This unexpected technique helped relax me and break up my tension.

For me, I’ve found that being mindful of the body’s anatomy has been useful in giving good massages.  Luckily, I’ve had a year of Anatomy and Physiology to help me with that, but a simple study of the human musculature will do the trick (see picture).  As you apply pressure to the muscles in the back and neck, I move in the direction of the muscles, moving the tension out.  Much of this is tension is in the Trapezius, Levator Scapulae, and Infraspinatus.  This is because throughout the day, we are constantly using those muscles to keep our head up as we work and they aid in arm movement.  Additionally, muscles that run along bones like the scapula tend to get pretty sore.  Using deep pressure from your thumb along the Supraspinatus will do wonders for a stressed out friend or loved one.  Through all of this, communication is the key.  Whereas one person might need relatively tough pressure, someone else might be very sensitive and appreciate a lighter touch.

So if you want more massages, you’ll have to give more.  As my buddy Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Gentleman’s Essential #9: The Utility Players

In Major League Baseball, what do Cesar Tovar, Cookie Rojas, Bert Campaneris, Shane Halter, and Jose Oquendo have in common?  They have all played every position in baseball in their careers.  Pretty amazing!  These athletes completely embody the moniker “utility player.”  As guys, we generally like our lives simple and our clothing options should only stay true to that mission.  Most of us have a few pairs of shoes, a small assortment of shirts, a couple of belts – black and brown.  The essential elements.  Do we really need a walk-in closet packed to capacity with a myriad of coats and shirts for every conceivable event? 

In this vein, we will take a look at three “utility players” that every guy should have at their disposal.  First up is the black pea coat.  The pea coat was designed originally for sailors as early as the 1720s and the name originates from the Dutch word “pijjekker” which refers to a kind of heavy cloth.  In the centuries since its introduction, the style has changed very little.  The great thing about a pea coat, is it’s the type of jacket you can throw on over a t-shirt and jeans as you head out into the cold, or you can feel comfortable putting it on over dress clothes.  It fits any environment. 

Today’s look is trending to slimmer fits and mixing dress shirts with jeans.  Anything that lets us wear jeans more can’t be all bad.  Wearing a dress shirt with jeans is cool, but if you were to put on a regular-width tie it would throw off the look.  Currently thinner ties are back in style and this option is a great way to look good whether you pair it with a suit or your shirt and jeans.  It really works with either option.  When picking a skinny tie, it’s best to opt for a black one first as it’s the most versatile. 

The final essential out of our utility players is the lightweight, V-neck sweater.  The reason this falls into the “utility” group is because, like the others, it fits well as a something you’d wear with nicer clothes, or feel free to push up the sleeves and pair it with your favorite jeans.  A casual look that’s in style right now is to wear a button up shirt underneath and roll up the sleeves.  (see picture below) It’s a great way to create a layered look.

It’s good to find your own unique look that you can feel comfortable in, but any guy will agree that you really need those simple, go-to items like a coat, a tie, and a sweater.  Keep these within reach and you’ll be good for a job interview or heading out with a group of buddies.